"Beep, beep, beep!" The alarm sounded at 4:00 AM. Exhausted and miserable, I lacked the motivation to rise, but I adhered to a strict routine. My very existence depended on it. Without unraveling life's profound inquiries, I faced dire consequences. How could I have faith in the unseen? I yearned for the truth, to firmly hold it within my grasp. To navigate life with confidence, I sought comprehension of all that lay concealed from me. No one was worthy of trust. I was tired of hypocrisy and empty words. Cynicism and control became my sole path to security. I resolved to pursue flawless knowledge and unwavering action... At least that was the idea.
After a few days of maintaining a regular routine involving exercise, study, fasting, and prayer, everything started to unravel. The overwhelming urge for sleep proved to be stronger than my will. I found myself unable to uphold the promise I had made to myself. It became evident that something was amiss. Perhaps my schedule lacked proper organization. To uncover the truth and rescue myself, I needed to implement more effective planning. If God didn't accept me, I was destined for failure. There was no other purpose worth living for. I had to apprehend truth and find salvation.
You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; it is these that testify about Me; and you are unwilling to come to Me so that you may have life.
Like the Pharisees, I searched the scriptures thinking that I could earn salvation by the rituals I performed. I refused to believe in that which I could not see. I assumed that I didn't need to trust anyone and that all the answers to life's questions could be found on my own.
Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind and said, “Who is this that darkens counsel By words without knowledge? Now gird up your loins like a man, And I will ask you, and you instruct Me! Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell Me, if you have understanding, Who set its measurements? Since you know.
After going through depression, feelings of hopelessness, and a variety of health issues, I finally came to realize that I was incapable of saving myself. I was missing the perspective of Heaven. I wasn't God. I was a man living in a sin-filled world. I needed to humble myself and trust in the providential care of God the Father.
And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
Children do not possess the necessary life experience or ability to sustain themselves independently. They rely on their parents for all their needs, placing their trust and dependence in them. As you age, it's crucial to avoid being conceited due to your perceived success or worldly wisdom. You may seem to think that you have everything figured out, but without God all your efforts are vanity. Pride was the sin of Lucifer who stated, "I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God, And I will sit on the mount of assembly In the recesses of the north." Satan believed that he could rise above the Creator. God opposes the proud but shows grace to the humble (James 4:6).
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
There are limits to what we can know. We must depend upon our Father to guide us into all truth and direct our paths. The Lord is our shepherd.
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows. Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Follow the Lord and trust Him with your life. He will restore you, lead you in paths of righteousness, and give you freedom from fear. You will have everything you need in the presence of your enemies. And you will dwell in the house of God forever!